Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MORNING CHANT

To increase my genie magic I whisper this into my mirror while my trained poodles whistle behind me:

I LONG FOR AN OLD WOMAN WITH MONEY
FOR DRY VAGINA HONESTLY I PROCEED
MY WONDERFUL MAGIC OCCUPIES
THE TIME IT LEAVES
AN EVEN TRADE
I NOW TIP THE HOURGLASS OF A GURU GENIE

Over the course of a typical week I alternate be-twixt many chants, part of the key unlocking the door giving way to the room in which I immerse myself in my genie magic. While my guruosity status prevents me from distributing my excess chants on good faith I shall transmit one magicificating chant as A CONGRATULATORY GIFT for your reception of 10 FREE CODES if you send one valid code, a valid code ready for magicified duplication to: rowingbard@gmail.com

Friday, June 19, 2009

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS

IT SLIPPED MY GENIE MIND IMMERSED IN THE WAYS OF MY GURU TO PROVIDE TO THE PUBLIC WITH A METHOD OF CONTACT THROUGH WHICH TO BE RESPONDED TO WITH YOUR 10 DUPLICATED CODES

FOR THE MAGIC E-MAIL rowingbard@gmail.com


KEEP THE GENIE GURU IN YOUR LIFE, POOD'S

Thursday, June 18, 2009

FREE GOLD XBOX LIVE CODE GIVEAWAYS

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, IF IT MAY SO PLEASE YOUR SENSIBILITIES, IS TO SEND ME YOUR CURRENT XBOX LIVE GOLD CODE SO THAT I MAY DUPLICATE IT 10-FOLD


Neat ideas for usage of your extra 9 gold codes to use during the year before you need another:
-jot the codes out in a statesmanly hand-script and roll them up, placing them in a bottle and casting them out to sea
-give them to your mother
-BURN THEM
-send them to me so that I may once again perform my genie magic and duplicate each by 10, massively multiplying your stock of xbox 360 codes and giving me the wonderful satisfaction that comes from kindness which snuggles me up in its blanket of warmth and comfort and strokes my fu-man-chu as I play the lute, and roll with my poodle platonically by the hearth
-sell these codes and spend the money as economic stimulus
-scratch these codes on the side of a co-ed bathroom stall, create a hole at a level comprable to the one at which your genitals reside and come back weekly for some morning glory hole action

MY FORMULA FOR THESE TRANSFORMATIONS IS STEEPED IN MY GURU MAGIC, AND IS UNABLE TO BE SHARED WITH THE COMMON PUBLIC FOR FEAR THAT YOUR UNENLIGHTENED MIND MAY BURST APART AND YOUR CHUNKS PLUMMETTED DOWN, DOWN FATHOMS INTO THE SEA.

FINALLY, I ASSURE YOU FROM THE DEPTH OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY PECULIAR, MINISCULE BRAIN WITH LIMITED FUNCTION STEMMING FROM MY IMMERSEMENT INTO THE GENIE VOODOO THAT I SHALL NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER NEVER RIP YOU OFF BUT SHALL LOVE YOU LIKE i LOVE MY POODLE: Warmly and fairly, but plutonically...

=)